New Federal Councillor(ess)

Yesterday was one of those good, rare days when Switzerland was in the international newspapers, for other than a silly ("Compulsory Cheese-Tasting Classes In Swiss Schools") or an ugly (murky financial dealings, banning minarets, Dignitas etc...) reason.

Following yesterday's elections in Bern, as of January 1st 2011, the Swiss government's cabinet of seven Federal Councillors won't be the only example of such an elite group constituted of a majority of women, but it will be one of a very small number of such cases. And, to my knowledge, it'll be the first instance of it happening in a country that only allowed women the vote as recently as 1971. Remarkable! (As a political about-turn, it could really only be surpassed, if, in the year 2049, the Swiss unveiled a new Parliament - in the shape of a giant minaret...)

Yes, all this is really very pleasing. But the honour here must go to Simonetta Sommaruga herself - she truly is a delight.

An accomplished classical concert pianist and linguist (she delivered her acceptance speech in four unaccented languages), she's everything we could have hoped for in the replacement to the genial, wily Moritz Leuenberger: wise, uncomplicated, economically socialist and socially liberal, as well as being Bernese, and, yes, a woman.

And I'm especially contented by this new appointment, because as head of the Federal Department of Environment, Transport, Energy and Communications, she'll now be in charge of the trains.

Migros supermarkets

Like many Swiss, when I get hungry I often visit the supermarket Migros. A true Swiss institution, its stores are warehouse-sized and dotted with improbable density throughout Switzerland's cities (there are 40 in the tiny Canton of Geneva alone).

I don't, however, go there to purchase a snack. I go there because I've found its grey, off-season fruit and multipack own brands are a great way to stem a hunger without spending a rappen. The food on display really is as unappetising as the plastic it's invariably over-packaged in.

Now, my Swiss co-residents aren't famous gastronomes - or at least they don't go on about it like certain latinate neighbours to the south and west. But, like most Europeans living in a good agricultural climate, they do know how to eat well.

But - and here's the thing - they seem to love Migros.

Initially this baffled me. How could the sophisticated Helvetians even think of buying into Migros' dull, bluey cheval steaks, or its cold, stony avocados with a two-hour edibility window, before which they deflate into a squidgy useless mess?

To understand the Migros phenomenon, you have to go back to 1925 and meet the smart, kindly man who founded the empire. Gottlieb Duttweiler was an entrepreneur who began driving a truck around remote parts Switzerland selling six items he thought essential (but which actually make up quite bizarre shopping basket: coffee, rice, sugar, noodles, coconut oil and soap).

Duttweiler was a moralist, and as the business grew, he ensured it did so in keeping with his own sense of how responsible businesses should conduct themselves. Still today the supermarkets don't sell alcohol (although related Migros-owned enterprises do) and a proportion of profits is earmarked for reinvestment in the educational arm, the Migros School (thoughts on which will certainly follow).

The tragedy is that, while, yes, Duttweiler was a good, altruistic man, his principles have been weakened by market forces to a point where they now mean very little. The supermarkets are run as corporations. And, like so many other corporations with eyes only for profits, this means the customer experience - and product - stinks.

Duttweiler and his Migros are gone. The brand has been commandeered by profiteers with no respect for his ideals, particularly the bit about providing you with high-quality essential ingredients. It should be abandoned in favour of the far superior alternatives you have in Coop and Manor.

At least that's how I see it. The guys at Sorgim seem to agree.

Tour de Suisse in Lugano, TI

The Tour de Suisse is the fourth biggest event on world cycling's calendar. I love it for it's unfailingly stunning courses, tough mountains and short duration. (It lasts a little over a week compared to three for the other big tours, meaning you can follow it beginning to end without losing track, or interest.)

Yesterday the race got started with a fine mountain time trial of just over 7km around Lugano's lakefront and the nestling slopes of Monte Brè.

Even as the race got underway I was able to walk the route, with one of the world's greatest athletes gasping (on the climb) or swooshing (on the descent) past me roughly per minute. I hoped they, like me, were able to enjoy the grand lake views, the abundance of richly-scented honeysuckle and roses and a friendly 'buongiorno' from the locals who lined the streets. Probably not, on balance.

Either way, I could only take my hat off to the local organisers who laid on such a spectacle in their nonchalant Swiss way. Close the streets to pedestrians just because of an international sports event? Not on their watch. I recalled the brusque policemen at the Tour de France's London prologue as I strolled, occasionally having to leap aside as another childhood hero almost blasted me out of the street.

I made it down just in time to see Lance Armstrong set off and catch the last 30 or so riders getting home. My time of just under 2 hours wasn't going to bother Lance and the big guns, but I was happy with it.

One thing though: these guys love Fabian Cancellara far too much. Ok, he's a good time triallist and good in the hills. But Mercx he ain't.

(All this from a man who comes from a country who doggedly supported Chris Boardman out of blind patriotism throughout his dimly-lit career. Ok, ok..)

National pride - in the bin

New today - patriotic bins all over Geneva!

A foretelling of where Switzerland's World Cup hopes will end up before the group stages are out? Or a wholly-justified expression of national pride in the Swiss waste disposal system?

Maybe both?

Swiss football team

Thinking that at the very least it would be good for a few laughs, I made my way along to the Stade de Genève on Saturday night to see what I assumed would be the Swiss side getting steamrollered by their neighbours to the south and current world champs Italy.

The Swiss were not nearly as bad as I was expecting. In fact they were rather good; organised and fit, running rings around the lacklustre Italians for much of the first half. The 1-1 result was about right, and most agreed the Swiss were the better side.

Gokhan Inhler, currently at Udinese scored a credible drive from outside the box beating several defenders and reserve keeper Marchetti, although it's unlikely it would have beaten Buffon, who coach Lippi wisely kept out of harm's way.

Most impressive was FC Basel striker and Swiss captain Alex Frei (wearing 9), who won several challenges with deft footwork that pretty much outclassed everyone else on the field. He missed Euro 2008 through injury, and I for one would not be remotely surprised to see him featuring heavily in Switzerland's SA2010 campaign, as long as it may last. Group H is tough (Spain, Chile and Honduras) but I'm tempted to have a flutter on the Helvetians reaching the quarters.

The security forces were clearly not expecting trouble, as most of them were over 50 and had been living the good life. Therefore they were rather out of their depth when a well-build Algerian guy invaded the pitch and then tried to run out. He almost made it, by sprinting up the steps towards the oldest looking guard, possibly attracted by his large moustache. Unfortunately for our Algerian friend he turned out to be the head of security and had him on the ground, barely uncrossing his arms. That said, the guy was being pretty hectic and there were lots of youngsters around, so there's a strong argument to say they should have got him under control more quickly.

But, football aside and tough Algerians aside, CHF 100 for row 17 at an international friendly struck me as reasonable, and the fans were as polite, endearing and in tune during the national anthems as you'd expect.

As much as I appreciate the Swiss' ability to melt cheese and yodel, it was pleasing to be surprised by their quality in an arean where, let's face it, I was not being unfairly pessimistic to expect the worst.

(Here's a review of the match by someone who knows what they're talking about)

Back to the golden age of flight

Like anyone with a vague interest in leaving a planet in decent working order to my kids, I'm generally anti-internal flights in small countries. But there are a number of reasons for which I'm keen on those operated by boutique Swiss airlines Baboo and Darwin between Geneva and Lugano, which I took for the first time on Thursday.


The least of them is that it is a remarkably quick way to make a journey that usually takes 6 hours (and, significantly, one which I have to make on a fortnightly basis). It takes 35 minutes precisely - barely enough to reach the cruising altitude of 6000m and get back down again.

But much more than a short hop over the mighty alps, this is a trip back to the golden age of air travel. 15 minutes before take-off you walk a few paces from the departure gate to the awaiting Saab 2000 twin prop. After a minimum of fuss you're in the air, and crossing the alps at close range.


Familiar mountain tops pass below like old friends: Mont Blanc, the Jungfrau, the Matterhorn. The highest peaks are a little over a kilometre down - near enough that you'd see any intrepid mountaineers that happened to be summitting at the time.

A smart lady promptly comes and offers wine and snacks to complete the moment, and before you've had time to finish them, it's 'cabin crew, prepare for landing' time and you're on the tarmac at Lugano's Agno airport.


It is a staggeringly expensive connection. At CHF 564 for your average weekend return, and at just 134 miles, it's possibly the most expensive scheduled flight in Europe(?). But the whole thing is so far away from the humiliation of modern budget air travel, you can dream for a moment or two of a world where EasyJet and co. don't exist. And I'll pay for that every once in a while.

Those trains

Don't get me started on the Swiss trains. Oops - too late, you did.

There are no bad things about the Swiss trains, only good ones. Here are the top ten.

1. Switzerland is the last place on earth where travelling by train is both affordable and an absolute pleasure (with the possible exception of Russia.)
2. There are no ticket barriers, and the ticket inspectors don't ask so much to see you ticket as wait for you to proudly show it to them. This is because there is a general feeling that no-one would think of skipping a fare because no one can fault any aspect of the service that is being provided to them.
3. All parts of the Swiss public transport network talk to each other, meaning that if you buy a 'day pass' there is very little that moves in the country that you are not entitled to get on. (Includes: buses, trams, boats, mountain trains. Excludes: ski lifts, other peoples' cars, animals etc.)
4. You can buy one of the aforementioned day pass for CHF45 (if you buy a multipack of six which doesn't have any time limit on when you have to use it by.) I have met people who, having purchased one of these, have got up at the crack of dawn and spent the entire day just travelling around by train, looking out of the window etc.
5. The view of lake Geneva from above the Lavaux vineyards when you come through the tunnel from Palezieux to Lausanne. It's so beautiful, the way you suddenly shoot out of the blackness of the tunnel to see the sun shimmering over almost the entire lake from your high vantagepoint, that the first time I did it I dropped my sandwich.
6. You can set your watch by them. I have done so, and it works.
7. When you plan a long route involving complex changes, some of them can be as short as 4 minutes. They know you'll make it.
8. The man who comes and brings you espresso.
9. They have little volume controls in each carriage so that the announcements don't hurt your delicate little ears.
10. Once the Lausanne to Geneva commuter train was delayed in winter. The next morning SBB staff went along the carriages offering everyone chocolates to apologise. (True story, an ex-colleague was on that train.)
11. The toilets are very simple and kept clean. They don't have electric doors which slide closed so slowly that you accidentally take your trousers down before they've closed and everyone laughs, or 'automatic' taps that cover your hands in soap and then you realise they've run out of water so you have to use toilet paper to clean the soapy mess off your hands.
12. On the 'Glacier Express' from Zermatt to St. Moritz they have wine glasses with slanted bases so that you can rotate it depending on the gradient the train is at, so that your wine stays perfectly level throughout.
13. Their website sbb.ch has pretty much the entire European rail timetable built into its journey planner so you can use it to plan trips that have nothing to do with Switzerland.
14. You can rent awesome mountain bikes from them at some stations.
15. I could go on. And on.

And I will. But later. For now though, toot toot!