Those trains

Don't get me started on the Swiss trains. Oops - too late, you did.

There are no bad things about the Swiss trains, only good ones. Here are the top ten.

1. Switzerland is the last place on earth where travelling by train is both affordable and an absolute pleasure (with the possible exception of Russia.)
2. There are no ticket barriers, and the ticket inspectors don't ask so much to see you ticket as wait for you to proudly show it to them. This is because there is a general feeling that no-one would think of skipping a fare because no one can fault any aspect of the service that is being provided to them.
3. All parts of the Swiss public transport network talk to each other, meaning that if you buy a 'day pass' there is very little that moves in the country that you are not entitled to get on. (Includes: buses, trams, boats, mountain trains. Excludes: ski lifts, other peoples' cars, animals etc.)
4. You can buy one of the aforementioned day pass for CHF45 (if you buy a multipack of six which doesn't have any time limit on when you have to use it by.) I have met people who, having purchased one of these, have got up at the crack of dawn and spent the entire day just travelling around by train, looking out of the window etc.
5. The view of lake Geneva from above the Lavaux vineyards when you come through the tunnel from Palezieux to Lausanne. It's so beautiful, the way you suddenly shoot out of the blackness of the tunnel to see the sun shimmering over almost the entire lake from your high vantagepoint, that the first time I did it I dropped my sandwich.
6. You can set your watch by them. I have done so, and it works.
7. When you plan a long route involving complex changes, some of them can be as short as 4 minutes. They know you'll make it.
8. The man who comes and brings you espresso.
9. They have little volume controls in each carriage so that the announcements don't hurt your delicate little ears.
10. Once the Lausanne to Geneva commuter train was delayed in winter. The next morning SBB staff went along the carriages offering everyone chocolates to apologise. (True story, an ex-colleague was on that train.)
11. The toilets are very simple and kept clean. They don't have electric doors which slide closed so slowly that you accidentally take your trousers down before they've closed and everyone laughs, or 'automatic' taps that cover your hands in soap and then you realise they've run out of water so you have to use toilet paper to clean the soapy mess off your hands.
12. On the 'Glacier Express' from Zermatt to St. Moritz they have wine glasses with slanted bases so that you can rotate it depending on the gradient the train is at, so that your wine stays perfectly level throughout.
13. Their website sbb.ch has pretty much the entire European rail timetable built into its journey planner so you can use it to plan trips that have nothing to do with Switzerland.
14. You can rent awesome mountain bikes from them at some stations.
15. I could go on. And on.

And I will. But later. For now though, toot toot!